Here we go again :o(

Last night I got a call that my father is now gone too, I only met him this past summer. You see he had left my Mom before I was born and I was an only child until this past summer, now I am one of eight. I don't know why this is happening but I can share an e-mail I received from one of the many kind people around the world : ............................................ Dear Mr. Bacon: You don't know me - but your message at gotapex.com really affected me. I've been thinking a lot about your loss. I wanted to let you know that I will pray for you. Yet, your loss makes me so angry. I don't understand why you have to suffer. I know God must have His reasons; but I just don't understand why bad things must happen to good people. I wish there was some sacrifice I could make that would make a difference in your life, but I know there isn't . I'm Buddhist, and we're taught a life of peace is enabled through detachment, but it seems so difficult to be detached. If I were you I'm ashamed to say that I would be very angry at God. The last thing I would be capable of is praying. So I admire your strength and character, and I know your other son is very lucky to have you for a father. Peace to you and your family. ............................................. I removed his name because I know that he meant well in what he said but at the same time I felt that I needed to reply to his email with a little more than the "Thank you" I had sent to the hundreds of prayers I received : ............................................. And another thing ! I have nothing to gain by feeling that "God is wrong" or "God is Evil" ! My only hope that I can accept this is that I'm confident that somehow my baby is in a better place where he was needed more than here ! We gave him nothing more than love and he gave us the same and for this reason THERE MUST BE SOMEONE OR SOMETHING THAT NEEDED THAT MORE THAN US ! I don't know anything for sure but I must accept this or I have no reason to live beyond today ! Thank you And keep faith ! Stephen Bacon ............................................. I sent this at roughly 3a.m. and after clicking "send" my other phone rang and it was my Sister....... I don't know what I feel now ! ------------------ [This message has been edited by Bloodymess (edited 03-24-2000).] __________________ Hang in there man. Believe it or not, God does have a plan for each of us, even if we cannot see it. You are in my prayers.....stay strong! Robert __________________ Good God, I just read this part, and I just replied to your other post. I can only hope you can keep in mind that God has something planned. __________________ I am sorry to hear the loss. I do not understand why things happend in these strange ways, but there are always things in life you will never understand. I know this doesn't compare to your loss, but somehow i hope it creates something in you to help you through these tough times. My father married before i was born. He had four children and was struggling in the airforce to keep up the bills. Somewhere he and his ex got into a big fight and separated. After the fight his ex decided to run away with the four children. She changed their last name once she remairried to remove him from their lives completely. He tried to contact them through mail, sent gifts for their birthdays, and never got a response. 3 years ago the youngest (now 33) found his number and gave him a call. With all that time passed they never new he had tried to contact them, but now they do. He always had them in his mind each and every day. And dreamt about seeing them once again. We were able to get all together and finally see, hear and be with one another. This day was my fathers 60th suprise b-day. We had asked him to come outside (where the whole family was waiting) and we were able to capture his emotion on film. There is no way to explaine the look on his face, but he was in awe. I have never seen him cry, but today was different. He told me that that one day when he finally was able to meet his family again, he was complete. No words had to been said, they loved him and he loved them. One split second and his life was changed. Now i have 3 more sisters and one more brother i never had before. How would i handle this? What would i say to someone that is apart of me yet i have no similarities with them excecpt for our father. As we intruduce each other as if we were at some convention, we slowly realized the same traits, the same reactions, the same laugh, the same kindness and compassion. My father had 8 children. And i am the 2nd youngest. I now realize that they are and were apart of me, yet i never knew it. From that day our bond was as strong as if we did know each other for those many years. You have to look at these things that happen in different perspectives. If it was not for your father you would have never met the closest people like you. Your family. He is probably very happy right now because he knows that he has accomplished his dream, You. __________________ My family's thoughts and prayer are with you at this difficult time.