idiot stories/jokes

idiot #1: I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little two year old daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants arenot harmful there was not a need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down,and at the end of the conversation happened to say that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that now she should bring her daughter into theEmergency room right away. __________________ idiot #2: Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, they were surprised by a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator that is activated when the raft is inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing. __________________ lol almost as good as all those computer moron stories __________________ heheh sounds like the darwin awards anybody know where we can find the candidates for this year??? __________________ Complete idiots __________________ Quote: Originally posted by The Happy Squirrel heheh sounds like the darwin awards anybody know where we can find the candidates for this year??? The only ones I keep getting are the ones from 2 years ago with this years date on it. __________________ i got the new ones in an emial a few weeks back but thye gt deleted by hotmail cause my account size was to large and that was one of the biggest so out the windwwon it went i remember a few my fav is one guy was trying to fix his bacl powder rifle cause i wasnt firing and he looked down the barrel to see if there wasa jam and to aid his visual process he decided to use a lighter, well we all know how well gun powder and fire mix the poor guy no longer had a head __________________ want more/??? i've got more: WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS! Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up." ARE WE COMMUNICATING?? A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!" __________________ A must read: A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. Mavi forum