A Modest Proposal

To: Governor Bush and Vice President Gore We, the undersigned, respectfully submit the following request to the consideration of Al Gore, Vice President of the United States, and George W. Bush, Governor of Texas: As you may know, many Americans regarded our recent Presidential election as a choice of the lesser evil. When it came time to decide which of you we hated the least, we the people were hopelessly deadlocked. Frankly, you both give us the creeps. At this point, it is clear that if Mr. Bush wins the recount, the Democrats will file lawsuits for every idiot voter in Florida, and we will hear endless griping about butterfly ballots and hanging chads. If Mr. Gore wins, the Republicans who tried to steal the last election with a fellatio-centric impeachment will no doubt engage in a similar abuse of the legal system. Either way, the wrangling will drag on for years. Whoever wins will be regarded as a cheater; whoever loses will be seen as a whiner. There is only one way to end the squabbling. We propose a duel to the death -- on the open seas outside U.S. territorial limits (or in Texas), in front of an international team of observers and a worldwide television audience. Many great American statesmen, including Andrew Jackson and Henry Clay, engaged in duels. As one of you may know, the most famous duel in American history was between Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr. After a humiliating defeat for the Presidency (involving a tied vote in the Electoral College and 35 successive tied votes in the House), Burr found revenge on the dueling field. Candidates, we implore you: be like those guys. Settle your differences between yourselves, as men. Think of the satisfaction of doing by bullet what you were unable to do by ballot. Governor Bush, you were young when you decided not to risk your life for your country; now you have a rare second chance. We cannot imagine a more graphic demonstration of your steadfast support for capital punishment. Furthermore, there's nothing like a quick shoot-out to put an end to all this unnecessary "vote counting" and procedural folderol. Vice President Gore, this is your chance to demonstrate your superior gun control. With a single, well-aimed shot from a legally registered handgun, you can teach Governor Bush a lesson about the environment by making him part of it. Exercise your freedom of choice by aborting the Governor's presidential aspirations, not to mention his life. Gentlemen, it is time to settle this thing once and for all. We appreciate that you are willing to lie, cheat or steal to win this election, but that is not enough. You must be willing to make the ultimate sacrifice, for the good of the nation. P.S. If it should happen that both of you are mortally wounded in this contest, we trust that our great Republic shall find some way to endure the loss. Sincerely, The Undersigned __________________ That's what I'm sayin'! WRASSLE!!! __________________ Bush has not lied cheated or done anything wrong...and don't say "DUI ARREST!!!! he lied!!!" when it was brought out in the open he admitted it and apologized unlike the way clinton has acted. Quote: Originally posted by bella We appreciate that you are willing to lie, cheat or steal to win this election [/b] [/b][/quote] [Edited by maggiebirdie on 11-16-2000 at 09:50 PM] Mavi forum